Can someone give me life tips to face my F.E.A.R.S ?

This is my life story... I am 18 years old and i am afraid of alot of things in life. When i was around 6 years in elementry school, I would always be fighting... Yes fighting at a very tender age when you should be enjoying life freely without fear *Right*. Well i grew up in the mean streets of baltimore, and as i came up i was fighting more and more. I would say lost about 89% of all those fights from me at 18 and me at 6 :(.. i just wasnt the baltimore tough guy type... Video games kept me saine as a young boy but as i grew up and video games werent cool anymore, i lost intrest in video games and girls where my new goal. The problem with that is im scared to be around anybody. My father grew up yelling at me for mking dumb stupid decissions, Childish decisions i would say in my adolescent days. And my mum .. shes the mom that doesent realy show you too much love. a selfish type. So whenever i get around people im tense, not at ease, and paranoid. When the video games stopped thats when the marijuana and alchohol started. At first i felt cool and comfortable with weed and liquor, But as i got older and did it more it has made my symptoms from my younger days even worse. Im a pretty handsome guy but whenever i look anybody directly in the eyes i get tense and scared like the person im talking too is gonna say some hurtfull **** too me.



If you realy took the time out too read my mini life story and my problem i greatly appriciate you And i ask... "HOW CAN I FACE MY FEARS" !!!Can someone give me life tips to face my F.E.A.R.S ?
1: Move out. Out-of-state. Somewhere with a lot of chill people.

#2: Get help for alcohol and marijuana, but only if you can't quit on your own (addicted).

#3: Go out to local bars or something, meet some women, and charm them! If you can't charm them, just work your way up to it. You'll probably need some practice since you apparently haven't talked to women much.



Working out and running helps with self-confidence also. It helps me quite a bit with shyness/insecurity.



Hope I helped!Can someone give me life tips to face my F.E.A.R.S ?
First, that's a long term life-style of fearing other people. It's understandable from your background, but you need to work hard to overcome it.

Second, therefore, get some counseling. Doing this, being successful, on your own is possible but not very likely.

Third, get this book, it can help you a lot. In spite of its title it is a practical guide to cognitive therapy.

http://www.amazon.com/Ten-Days-Self-Este鈥?/a>



Fear comes from perceived threats. From your interpretation of people, things, situations, etc., that might hurt. When that interpretation is off base, false, wrong, you need to change it. Example: A man enters his mountain cabin and sees a snake on his bed. He freezes in place against the way, breaks out in a cold sweat, feels faint, his heart is racing. Then he realizes it is only his belt curled up and looks like a snake. Even so, it takes a while for the fear to go away. Our interpretations, much, much more than external reality, cause us to fear.



Think through your fears. Write them down in detail, be as accurate as possible. Then consider them. How realistic are they. If they are not sensible, then write that down, along with also a statement that contradicts the fear. Like this:

1. I fear that person will say something hurtful.

2. But she gives no indication that she will.

3. So that is silly and probably not something I need to worry about.



On the other hand, some people do say hurtful things, so do what you can to toughen yourself up. One way is to wean yourself away from depending on other people's opinions. Learn what you are good at--everyone is good at something--strengthen that, get better, and MAKE IT the center of your self esteem, self-confidence.



For example, I'm an easy-going, giving, nice person, who hates conflict of any kind, and whom others like at times to take advantage of. I don't like it but I have learned not to let it bother me much, because I value my knowledge, smarts, and whatever skills and wisdom I've gained in my almost 70 years in this life. Take pleasure in what you are good at, and pooh-pooh what you're not good at. Then others will not be able to hurt with their words. Also, realize that others are very unlikely to attack you. It is against the law, and unless they are excessively ignorant of that fact, They will attack only if strongly provoked.



Best wishes.